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| Rainy day. |
| 03.18.05 (5:18 am) [edit] |
Spring came with thunderbolts. But it was yesterday, today only raindrops are falling on my head, and no sun to talk to. I made a short shopping ride, but 've bought only a hair clip, it looks crazy and i feel like a gipsy - red hair, pale skin gypsy that is ;) I was looking for a nice handbag, but well... Maybe if i had my contact lenses "on" i'd find one, but today i walk on blind, cause of this uncomfortable feeling in my eyes, maybe i should see a doc for it? Maybe, maybe, but i always prefer to wait for sickness to pass out by itself.
Damn, no idea what to write, i logged in with thought of "i should practice from time to time", but everybody need a subject to fill this window with letters...
Bah, next time ;)
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| ... |
| 03.01.05 (12:27 am) [edit] |
Could any kind soul cast an Invisibility Purge, please?
Cause i feel like Invisible Woman.....
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| I need a break. |
| 08.16.04 (12:50 pm) [edit] |
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A month ago we started an aquarium. All "by the book", time for bacterias, time for plants.... two weeks before we let fish go in. We had ... so many beautiful fish and disease had come. It stroke like a lightning, really, we knew nothing about fish diseases and i feel i could have helped them better if i had more experience. Only three fish and three cardina japonica had survived. It was really hard week, little corpses almost every morning... I had dreams filled with water and fish and i feel a little exhaused with all this.
Situation seems to be stable for now, I really hope it is.
[i know, it's not a good topic for reactivation, but well....]
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| Dear Diary. |
| 02.20.04 (3:19 am) [edit] |
I'm sorry i left you alone for so long - hope you can forgive me. It's all because of this on-line massive multiplayer game i get addicted to. And this game also speaks english so i learned some new words ;)
I like to play it for two reasons:
First - i'm a pilot, i have flotilla od spaceships, i can do so many things from fighting pirates to producing things, and character i play trains all the time, so she becomes more crafty every day.
Second reason is bunch of really nice ppl from all over the world i met there. You know, Diary, we have chat channels, and sometimes we chat & chat & chat... we discuss so many topics, we flirt, we fight :) Pure fun, i'd say.
But you know my Diary, i feel this game eats too much of my time - and i have MUCH time to spare for anything i want to. So i decided to play two weeks more - as i payed for this month - and then make a break. Otherwise i'll never start to learn anything, and in the middle of April i get back to work and gonna be IT again :) But if i won't do anything with myself i'll be a dumbass, not IT!
So dear Diary i hope we'll meet more often, me and you.
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| Sleeplessness |
| 01.16.04 (8:26 am) [edit] |
Two nights i had to spend alone in my bed because my "other half" gone to Monachium. It had good sides, i felt like i had more space, more time for kids (strange) and telling the truth i didn't miss him much (well - two evenings isn't much time). But...
as i couldn't fall asleep, afraid of the darkness around, and teddy bear near my pillow couldn't really help i discovered that my husbands voice by phone comforts me, and helps to keep my eyes close.
And now i know why i'm married to him - to sleep well ;)
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| Awake. |
| 01.09.04 (12:46 am) [edit] |
It was one of those dreams so easily mistaken for reality. I almost missed my own awakening, it felt like turning from one side to another in the middle of the night. And then sudden realisation came: i'm home alone, it's afternoon and probably i just slept over time the preschool closes. Panic! Don't panic, what time is it? Relief, 20 more minutes......
Call me Flash, i made dressing up and all the way to preschool in ten minutes, running to subway, running all the way, building was almost dark at the moment, just one class with very few people inside, two of those were my own kids ;)
And my heart beating with exertion all way home.
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| Christmas coming. |
| 12.17.03 (1:37 am) [edit] |
Call me a hero - I made so brave move and invited my parents and brother for a Christmas Eve supper. And you must know, I've never been a host for such event. My very first time, should I bring a flower for me on the occasion? :wink:
The truth behind is that me and Pawel (my husband) are always invited for Christmas by mine or his parents. His parents just miss him and our kids, they live in another city and we meet each other not too often. My parents feel obliged to invite us I guess. They live just on the other end of Warsaw and we meet not too often, if you know what I mean....
Last year we were at Pawel's parents', they for sure would be happy to see us this year too, but Pawel is not very fond of the idea. And my parents.... it's a longer story.
Last year my father decided to refit their flat, it took him over year for now, and all we cannot see the happy end, he finished just two rooms, kitchen is in complete ruin and my mom said sth like: "oh, I don't know, what are you gonna do for Christmas?"
So my sweet husband was kinda happy we won't have to go visit them, but... it's not proper to leave them like this, don't ya think? So I decided to invite them, it's just one evening, we can stand it :wink: The small problem is I'm not too good cook, so I will need my mothers help for some things.
The other problem, relation with my parents, won't be disscussed in this note. Maybe another time.
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| I had really great time this evening I'm still smiling. |
| 12.12.03 (2:57 pm) [edit] |
I went to the pub to meet peple from my conversations class, and from two other groups, so I met new nice people. Almost all the time we were speaking english - just as we were in the class. I really liked it.
John, who's our teacher arranged this meeting and paid the bill! - generous man, isn't he? :wink: However when somebody pays my bill I never push, and order only things I would order paying for myself.
One thing really bothered me - smokers. I simply hate cigaggret's smoke. (One of better things of moving out was that I no longer had to bear my smoking-like-chimneys parents). In Poland we have too much smokers, and you go the pub, you can be sure: sooner or later somene near you will smoke. And when I spend too much time near smokers I start to feel catharist... And as a "bonus", my hair so easily catch that awful scent!
Luckily, we left this pub before it completely get rid of oxygene, and moved to Daily coffee, really nice place, unobtrusive music, great air conditioning :twisted:
And my personal sin: I told three stupid jokes, don't know how does it work, but never remember good ones, maybe I should write some down on the paper and always have it with me? 8)
And I'm still smiling.
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| Evil angel? |
| 12.05.03 (3:45 am) [edit] |
- You are evil woman - Jarecki said.
- Oh no! I'm an angel cast from heavens to help you! - I replied.
- well, I'm not sure if you were maybe thrown down or kicked out....
Yeah, you can always count on your friends :wink:
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| The end doesn't imply falsness. |
| 12.04.03 (1:15 pm) [edit] |
I wanted to write really great note, something like spreading before you pearls of my precious thoughts. And now I sit here, and feel so sleepy I cannot think clearly.
Today I had talk with my friend. He's got really hard time, his relationship is probably dying, he moved out some time ago. He's quote for today was something like "only eternal things are true, the rest doesn't count".
I can't agree with him. Some things are important even if they are not enless. Are true, even when pass away.
Mountains erode. Lakes dry out. So real storm leaves for transitory rainbow. And rainbow is important!
I realise, he was talking about love, not mountains and rainbows. I recon love is never false, no matter it lasts to the end of life or to the end of this month.
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| Midlife crisis? |
| 12.03.03 (2:19 am) [edit] |
I don't know how does it work, but sometimes I think in english with so... glibness. Writing isn't so easy, especially when I want to tell a story. My sentences are too long, I have problems with punctuation, I loose all the clearness. (and it obviously shows I need this weblog to practise).
I have some problems with myself lately. One might call it "midlife crisis", but I don't feel "midlife", no way! But I'll have to back to work in few moths and it scares me. Years ago I aspired to be "IT specialist", for now almost all my knowledge is gone, and most of it - aged. So I need to learn sth usefull if I want to keep the job. I'm not so sure if I want to keep it - if I want to go back to the firm I worked for. Returnig there isn't sth that makes you jump up with joy.... If I won't get back there, I'll have to think of some other way of earning money, all this frustrates me :?
Even if my husband says: easy swetaheart, you don't have to hurry.
BTW: Midlife crisis - I do like this Faith no more song ;)
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| Event so unpleasent. |
| 12.01.03 (7:03 am) [edit] |
On suterday we had "Andrzejki" ("Andrews") - in Poland it's the day of divination. As far as I remember, saint Andrew takes care of maidens, who would like to get married. So on the special day of the year, all girls can forecast for their future husbands. It's old tradition, nowadays it's just pure fun I guess :wink: .
So it was time for entertainment. I visited two parties: celebration of "firm my husband works for" 10th anniversary in Poland, and later I met my friends - those are real party animals, we had good time and I was back home at 4.
Unfortunately, there was one really unpleasant event when I was leaving. You must know, my friends, Dzierzba and Zibi live at the "end of the world", as I call it, so when I arrived at the party, I asked my friend Poly, if he can give me a lift home when time will come. He said - as always - no problem. But hours later, when we were gathering at the entrance, suddenly we found, that there are six people for five-people car. Poly said: "easy, we can do it, girls go on the back sit, Jarecki (who's big guy) sits next to me".
And that was the moment, when Poly's girlfriend said (her voice angered): "No way. I'm not going. Go, take them, you promised them ride home, for me - you promised nothing, so I can take a night bus. It's not safe to ride this car with so many people inside. You promised them ride home, take them! I'll take the bus!". (and you must know, a bus isn't nice option, it takes way too much time to get home from dzierzba's)
Then silence. We stare at each other, what can we say? Me - I hate blackmails, especially connected with emotions. "What is she expecting now?" - I started to think - "that we say: OK, I take a bus, have comfortable ride. Or: I'll call taxi (too expensive)? Or: we stay at Dzierzba's and sleep on the air-bed (telling the truth: why not :wink: )? Or maybe Poly should tell us: fu*k out, my beloved princess doesn't like crowd". And I said NOTHING because I don't like anybody treating me like that. (and I also didn't tell her: "are you crazy or drunk?" I admire myself for staying silent)
But Poly, who is my hero, just told to her: "please, stay here, I'll be back for you. Even if you wait for me, you will be at home earlier then on the bus". And he did as he said..
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| Two Towers. |
| 11.27.03 (1:40 pm) [edit] |
We ordered Two Towers (the second film of The Lord of the Rings trilogy) over two months ago, and today! Is the day! The movie has finally came! :wink: We bought extended edition with additional scenes, yummy...
We always start with the appendices: interviews with the crew and all movie making stuff. Now we are watching story of "how Gollum character was created", it's really amazing! The whole crew gives tribute to Andy Sarkis, who, at the very beginning, was supposed just to give Gollum his voice, but finally - gave to the character much more. It's really cool - to watch how much staff working at the film value the man, who's face is unknown to the audience.
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| No idea of subject |
| 11.25.03 (3:54 pm) [edit] |
Cocci calls me lazy! Nasty girl, I should spank her or sth... I was just busy and I had problems with internet connection - yesterday I even had to go for a small trip, because I couldn't connect, and I had to order sth before midnight. So, I visited my friend (she's great, and her boyfriend was there also, we had really nice evening). I don't really like to walk Chmielna Street at night: all shops are closed, just few people pass you by - a chance you meet a drunk man or addict is too big. There are too many dark corners around. Suprising, but this time I survived this walk as usually :wink:
I don't like darkness. Darkness scares me. Maybe I've seen too many thillers, maybe it's just me - but when I turn my back to the dark I have this feeling, this conviction, that something's lurking there, some "being", cruel and hungry. Childish. I know. But this knowledge barely helps me when lights pass away.
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| Reason. |
| 11.21.03 (1:21 pm) [edit] |
Main reason of writing this weblog is to improve my english. Anyone, who reads my words can realize that I'm not a native speaker. And that I'm not too skilled in the language. I can understand almost anything, watching movies w/o subtitles is a good training, but what about expressing myself?
Over month ago I started conversation class - and for now, and few lessons behind me, I think it's not enough. There are too many - eight - people in the class, and we have VERY talk-active teacher. Who never corrects us, when we make mistakes, so what's the difference, if I talk there, or write here? I can only try to do my best.
Practice makes perfect - they say ;)
And I almost forgot about the other reason - I love to chat. :)
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| Water in my eyes. |
| 11.20.03 (4:43 am) [edit] |
Today's morning wasn't good. I started to talk to my hausband and.... couldn't help tears. Why are you crying mammy? - kids asked. What could I tell them? I'm just tired - was the answer, funny thing it wasn't a lie. I am tired, so much, that I could lie down and sleep all day long, week maybe... - but no chance, hause-wife's got always work to do. So on the subway I stared at ceiling lamps, holding my tears off the cheeks, and listening all those thoughts going through my head.
"Then" and "now" are so different lately...
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| just a test |
| 11.18.03 (2:56 am) [edit] |
I'm always embarrassed when I find myself in the new situation. Such as starting a new web-logging... You know, necessity of learning new things, even a simplest ones, makes me a bit nervous. Lately I started think about it: is it caused by my "over-four-years-sitting- at-home-with-children" or just I've always been like that... Anxious. Never self-confident. So much afraid of failure, that I prefer not to start!
Enough. It's just a test note, to see if this site works.
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